Desperate for Grace

In a previous blog, I was eager to mention the fact that "oh how I love to be refined".  Well little did I know God was going to take that literally!  I have been hearing the song "Busted Heart" by For King and Country over the last several weeks and there is a line in the song that stuck out to me every time I heard it.  "I'm desperate for grace."  I hadn't really put much thought into what that means to me, those just happened to be the words that stuck out every time .... until yesterday. God brought to my attention yet another area in my life that needs refining and how I am so very desperate for His grace.  God brought before me a time in my life that I was careless with my choice of words on many occasions and in turn brought hurt and pain.  The scary thing about it is that these words were spoken quite some time ago, and I was clueless of the effect that they had all this time.  The words that we say can sometimes be spoken without even thinking or simply as a response to an emotion, but they definitely have the ability to cause some pretty major damage if we are not careful.  And these words that we speak, they are not forgotten, they may be forgiven, but they are usually not forgotten and might even have a lasting effect.  I was letting my emotions take over and the words that followed were pretty ugly.  In fact, they were hurtful, not only hurtful to other people but hurtful to God as well.   I am so very grateful that He brought this to light now and has given me another oppurtunity to repent and change before I have a little one who is going to hear EVERY word that I say.
As I reflect on each area in my life that has been refined or is in the process of being refined, I can't help but think of the undeserved favor that I have been granted.  There have been so many times when I was so desperate for grace and I wasn't even aware of the need for it.  It makes me sick to my stomach to think about how many other things that I do or I've done but God has granted me grace to continue on anyway.  With all of this said, the one thing that gives me a feeling of peace, is knowing that the God we serve is a loving God who in deed gives us that grace that we are oh so desperate for ..... even when we don't know it and in His perfect timing it will be revealed if He chooses to do so.  It is by grace that we are saved .... nothing else .....  are you desperate?  I know I am.
Yay God! Thank you, Jesus! My Dossier is complete and should be in Georgia right now!  I am still awaiting clearance from the USCIS but I did get my appointment in the mail this week for my next set of fingerprints ... this time they are done in Des Moines.  Ha!  The things you have to do for your child!   Once those are done my clearance should not be far behind.  It is definitely a huge relief to have the bulk of the paperwork finished.  And, now I get to wait ... and wait some more!  The next thing I'm waiting for is my referral!  I may not be carrying a baby inside my stomach but I have been carrying one inside of my heart since September 18th and I can't hardly wait to be able to put a picture with the thought of her.
Praise God for His amazing Grace - Praise God for the many ways He speaks to us - Praise God for all of the bending and breaking -  Praise God for Jesus!
Continue to pray that I would get clearance from the USCIS - pray that my Dossier is processed and sent onto Ethiopia in good timing - pray that I would use this time of waiting wisely, working on the areas in my life that still need change - pray for my sweet baby girl!

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Love-
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